My Cupcakes are Nation Wide

This is so cool! I always follow up on this blog called Cupcake takes the Cake. They keep the public up on every thing going on with cupcakes around the nation. The authors were on the Martha Stewart Show talking about cupcakes and their blog. I joined their flickr pool, and uploaded some of my cupcakes and they posted them on the blog! Check it out here.

One night is not a pattern :(

So, last night was not a repeat of the night before. Kaiden was up from 11-12 before I gave in and fed him at midnight. Then he was up again at 3:00am until around 4:30 when he finally fell asleep until 6:30. I pulled him into bed at that time and it was restless going from then on. Mike came upstairs around 8 and I slightly remembering asking him if Makaylee was up and he said no, so I pushed Kaiden to him and went back to sleep for another 30 minutes. People, I am not a naturally peppy soul. Despite the illusion created by being captain of the cheer squad my senior year, I do not function well without sleep. If you could see my house at this time you would understand that I needsleep. My daughter takes after me in that area. She loves her sleep. She almost always happily goes to sleep and proceeds to sleep 12 hours at night, and naps about two hours during the day. Although we have started skipping naps one or two days a week, she follows the rare non-nap days with usually 13 hours of sleep. So, my son seems to take after his father. Though I feel the need to point out that his father is the one getting sleep in the guest bedroom at this time. I have been told by Penny that both Dada and Auntie Sarah were terrible sleepers when they were young. The things we do for our kids :)

As most posts have been surrounding Kaidens sleepless nights I feel it is time to give an update on Makaylee. She is growing up. To quickly. She is a non stop talking machine. Her favorite phrases right now are "oh dear" and "oh my." No, I don't talk like that, neither does Mike so I have no idea why when she spilled the markers everywhere yesterday she said "Oh my!" Then sat down and said "oh dear, what will we do now??" She is doing great in the potty training arena. We wear panties during almost all waking time when we are at home and she is great at telling me when she needs to go. Although she has yet to poop in the potty yet, we are working on it. She is great at timing the bowel movements for nap time or after we put her to bed when she has a diaper on. Yesterday was the first time she pooped in her panties. Yuck. She has had three accidents since she figured out the whole potty training thing. Twice on Mike while the cuddle and watch TV in the AM. (HaHa!) And once when we were playing in the basement, and she was just to busy to notice. She has not pee'd out in public yet, but we will get there.

Makaylee has also started to like Disney movies. She is in love with Arial at the moment. Mostly because she was given a pair of Arial panties that she loves, and so the movie followed that. She also loves fish, so it was a natural love. We were out at the grocery store the other day and I reached for the teddy grahams and she said "No! Arial crackers!" Because there was a box of disney princess crackers right next to the teddy grahams. So, it has begun, she wants her princess food. I know that I am way overdue to upload pics and video, so I will work on that soon!

People, I got sleep!

That is right, I got one night reprieve from my two week of exhausted existence. For over two weeks I have been having a sleeping war with Kaiden. We have done pick up/ put down and moved on to cry it out. Kaiden has been successfully putting himself to sleep, but he does not stay asleep. He goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 every night and is up to eat at 11. I would feed him at 11 and we would fight from then until 4:30 or 5 because I refused to feed him. So during that time he decided he NEEDED his paci at all times. But Kaiden pretty much stinks at hand to mouth so far, so he was waking me up every 30 min to an hour to replace the binkie. That was not working. I tried to get rid of the paci, but he was screaming and then sucking on anything he could get near his mouth. So I gave him the paci and he passed out. So now I am going in after he is asleep and removing the pacifier.

So needless to say I have not slept for longer than 1-2 hours at a time for two weeks. My husband left me to sleep in the guest bedroom. Some night it is a quick get up, replace binkie and get back in bed. Some nights it is a never ending scream fest for up to two hours. I have been walking around in an exhausted coma for the past two weeks. Lets not forget that he was not sleeping longer than 3 hours at a time before that. It is a sad time when you can look back fondly at your sons days in the NICU because that is the last time in 7 months you have gotten a decent night sleep. Before the NICU stay I was pregnant, so I basically have not slept well since Makaylee's first birthday.

Anyway. last night I took half a unisom and went to bed at 10. Kaiden woke up at 11, and I gave him his paci, then he slept until 3:30! I fed him and put him back in his crib where he slept until 6:45. At that point I pulled him in bed with me and he slept on and off the boob until 8:30 when makaylee woke up. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, sleep. I will take it!

Parenthood

If you are a parent you know exactly what I am talking about. If you are not a parent, then I would try and explain it, but you would not listen. I didn't listen. People try and explain what being a parent is like, but I think the reason so many people go ahead with parenthood is because they have this dream vision of what parenthood is going to be like. Don't get me wrong, being a Mom is the best thing that I have ever done and I love it. It is also the hardest, most humbling thing I have ever done. Everyday I am faced with a new chalenge and a new decision that makes me question decisions I have already made. Every day my kids drive me so crazy I think I am going to loose it. Every day they almost bring me to tears with the amount of neverending love I feel for them and they feel for me. The moment your children are born everything changes. The moment you start wearing that Mama or Dada title everything seems to be so much larger than you thought it was before.

I will tell you one thing, being a Mom makes you respect, love and appreciate your Mom that much more. I love you Mom, and I miss you :)

I am a hippie mom

I never thought I would be. Really, I didn't. But it is official. I meet those hippie mom standards. I co-sleep, breastfeed, I wear my babies, and soon I will be cloth diapering. Yup, that about sums it up! Ok, so I never really wanted to co-sleep (see previous posts), and I am working on getting Kaiden out of our bed.

I always wanted to breastfeed, but I had supply issues with Makaylee and we started solids at 4 months, and I was hanging onto breastfeeding by a thread when she turned 6 months, and about a week later I was done. But here I am, Kaiden has breastfed for 6 months, and still going strong. Or should I say still refusing a bottle. He has started solids though. Rice cereal is love, grean beans, not so much...........at all.

I wear my babies. I wore Makaylee in a hotsling. She loved it, and I loved it. Kaiden is an even bigger "hold me" type of baby. Basically if you are not holding him, he is not happy. He enjoyed the hotsling as an infant, but not so much anymore. I have been using my snuggli, but after a couple hours my back is killing me. I have been lusting over an ergo baby carrier
http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/ It can carry a baby up to 45lbs on your front or back. When Mikes Mom was visiting we went to a baby boutique and they had them there and she got one for me! Thanks Penny, I love it! I put Makaylee on my back and Kaiden and carried them around for awhile and my back doesn't bother me at all. Kaiden really seems to like it. We are even working on nursing when he is in the front, and so far it works really well.

I plan on cloth diapering soon. I have been going back and forth for months. If you do not know my diaper frustration, then I must not complain enough. ;) Kaiden has managed to pee or poop out of every single diaper I have tried. Pampers, huggies, (different types of both), generic, etc. So after pushing from my sister, and research, I decided to jump into the world of cloth. I ordered a cheap cloth off of ebay and hated it. Kaiden pee'd once, and peed right out of the diaper. Then I found a little baby boutique around here that had different types of cloth diapers and I checked them out. When Penny came up here to visit I showed her the cloth diapers, and she decided that she could make them. One try that was way to bulky a visit to the baby boutique and the purchase of one thirstie diaper later she was in business. So Penny is making some cloth diapers for me. Then I saw someone on craigslist who has 7 large fuzzi bunz diapers for $70 and i am going to get those tomorrow.

So, there you go, I guess I can display this here:

2 steps foward 3 steps back

So this is the crib update. Kaiden slept in the crib until.............you guessed it 3:30am. At which point after going to bed at 9pm I had fed him three times, and had to give him his paci two other times. But at 3:30 am he decided he was done and wanted out so he started crying. So into the bed he went so Mike could get some sleep. Today, all naps successfully done in the crib. I swaddled him, and put him in the crib and he went to sleep with minor comforting. YAY! on that front. At this moment (10:45pm) he is in our bed *blush*. I put him to sleep at 8:20, and Makaylee to bed at 9 (don't ask). At 9:10 Kaiden was up crying. Makaylee was still awake playing in her room, and I want some alone mommy time since Mike won't be home from the airport till after midnight. So rather than fighting him to sleep in the crib, I quickly lost, and put him in the bed so I could watch some adult television and fold laundry. I know, exciting times :) I do plan on moving him into the crib after feeding him before I go to bed though.

Night 1 in the crib

When we had Makaylee I was very much against actual co-sleeping. Both Mike and I were terrified we would roll on her, or something bad would happen. So I got my arms reach co-sleeper. Lucky for us, Makaylee was a great sleeper, and she loved the co-sleeper. I rarely had to feed her, and she made a great transition from the swing and co-sleeper to the crib.

Kaiden, not so much. He hated to co-sleeper. He did sleep in it in the beginning on two wedges. The one that goes under the sheet, and a memory foam sleep positioner to keep him from rolling around. When he outgrew the memory foam wedge, he stopped sleeping in the co-sleeper so well. I got desperate for more than 2-3 hours of sleep a night, so I pulled out the happiest baby on the block book, and tried the swing as recommended. He started sleeping for 4 hours, followed by an additional 3 hours in the swing, and I was so happy with that. The problem is that if I tried to put him back in the swing he would wake up, and in the co-sleeper he would wake up. Kaiden is still pretty much a very restless sleeper from about 3 or 4am on. So one night out of exhaustion I fell asleep with him breastfeeding. After that it was all over. He started coming into our bed sooner and sleeping less and less in the swing. Somehow we made it back to not sleeping longer than 1-3 hour stretches again. Then Kaiden started fighting and screaming when it was time to sleep at all, so somehow I ended up laying with him on the bed until he fell asleep and sneaking out. Don't ask me how I accomplished this with Makaylee still running around, but I did. This new laying with him to go to sleep has been going on for a month, and I am sick of it. I am also tired of him waking up every 1-3 hours all night long. He is so restless that neither Mike nor I get very good sleep from around 3 or 4 on. Mike has been sleeping on the couch more and more, and I want my bed back! So I pulled out the handy dandy baby bible AKA Baby Whisperer and decided to try sleep training him with her pick up/put down method. It is not crying it out. I sit in with him and comfort him with my voice, or perhaps a song and if he completely freaks out, then I pick him up just long enough for him to stop crying and put him right back down. He successfully took three naps in the crib today. YAY! (Let me also mention that he is a 45 minute napper just like Makaylee use to be). I put him in the crib tonight. So everyone please keep your fingers crossed that we both survive the whole night through with him in the crib. We might not tonight because Mike has to get up at 4;30 am for a flight, so if he is screaming and keeping Mike up he will probably end up in our bed, but the goal is to have him sleep a whole night in the crib. Then from there I will need to start weaning out his nighttime feedings. Because at 6 months, he should be able to go longer than 3 hours without eating. Everyone wish us luck!

Scrapbooking pages of auntie Sarah

So Mike's sister Sarah came to visit us for a week. I scrapbooked some pages of her visit. The journaling says:

Auntie Sarah came to visit us. Kaiden, at 6 months was not to impressed, but Makaylee is in love with Auntie Sarah. We all had a great time playing around the house. Makaylee showed Auntie Sarah how she can cook pancakes in her own kitchen, and how she loves to sing along to her Elmo CD's. We went to the park and fed the ducks, went to the freedom festival, watched the fireworks, visited the spray park, and went on several walks looking for the neighbors kitty. Makaylee also discovered a new activity of rolling penny's down the driveway. Auntie Sarah brought Makaylee a giant Elmo coloring book and markers, and Makaylee is still having a blast coloring in it. This was also a new experience for us because this is the first time someone came to visit and Makaylee realized they were gone when they left. She has asked for Auntie Sarah several times since she left. We are now looking foward to the next visit. Nana Hale comes next week!

Kids laughing

The best sounds in the world

When I had Makaylee I didn't think there would ever be a better sound than hearing her laugh. But I have found a better sound. Hearing Makaylee and Kaiden laugh together. I just have to share.

My video wouldn't load properly, so that is why you saw it above instead of here :)

Budding artist

I LOVE this scrapbook kit. Please forgive me because I am new the the digital scrapbooking world I forgot to save the link of where I got it. I will look for it tomorrow and try and post the link. I know the journaling is hard to read, so it says:

"This is the first time you used your chalk paint you got for your second birthday. Dada and Mama were working on painting the deck, so we let you paint it as well. You had a blast and loved painting with the chalk paint. I don't know if you got more paint on your or on the deck, but either way it was beautiful! You are quite the budding artist!"

Sitting, Standing and Rolling....Oh My!!!

Well, the title says it all! My baby is getting so big! I cannot believe it!!!!!! He has been rolling from belly to back for a couple weeks, and I just don't think I have posted that yet. I have been trying to get him to sit every couple of days, and yesterday he did it! I could not believe it! He can also stand unassited propped up on something for a couple of seconds. I have pics!


Here he is sitting, love the look:

Here he is standing. I know it isn't a great shot, but I have to be close so I can catch him if he starts falling :)

Just a happy boy out on the deck while we were painting

He can hold himself for a second or two on his hands and knees, but to get the pic I put a stuffed zebra under his belly to hold him so he didn' face plant.

This is like one of the best pics ever of my two kids smiling together!

Makaylee loves holding Kaiden now that she has figured out she can. Of course now he is getting almost to big for her to hold!

Another scrap book page

This is just a quickie page that I did for Kaiden. I found this great site with beautiful free elements for scrapbooking and I really wanted to try a more traditional looking page on the computer. So I gave it a shot. Here is the blog http://vicki20.blogspot.com/ Thank you Vicki!

Here is the page:

Digital Scrapbooking

I have discovered a new world :) Digital Scrapbooking. I love scrapbooking. But my scrapbooking room has always been our storage room since we moved in. If I want to bring the stuff upstairs it is such a pain, and soooooooooooo messy with paper. I have seen digital scrapbooking, and always wanted to give it a try. Mike got me the Adobe Photoshop suite, so I have started taking tutorial online, and downloading templates. This is my first page. Made using a step by step tutorial. I hope you like my attempt! You can click on the image to see it larger if you need to.

My Baking Adventures

I am in love with this blog that I saw on the Martha Stewart show:

http://bakerella.blogspot.com/

She makes the CUTEST things ever. Initially what sparked my interest were the cupcake pops. I was dying to try them and to make them for Makaylee and Bailey's birthday party. I did make them, but sadly forgot to take pics before they were devoured at a BBQ we went to. But I decided that for the birthday party to just make cake balls. Makaylee wanted cupcakes at her party, and I was trying to figure out how to decorate the cupcakes to match the Abby Cadabby theme. Bakerella answered that quest just in time with a melted chocolate technique to make toppers for the cupcakes. I have been having so much fun trying all the new techniques, so I had to try the cupcake bites as well for a BBQ we went to over the weekend. Needless to say, they were a hit there. The best part about the cupcake bites and balls is that there are so many steps to them. Normally, this would be a bad thing, but Makaylee LOVES cooking and helping out in the kitchen, so I can really drag out her baking enjoyment with these yummy treats. Here are my pictures of some of the my attempts so far:

Cupcake bites:

Cake balls or cake pops

Cupcakes

Up for auction! TODAY ONLY!

I have up for auction two beautiful children. Give yourself an instant family! (No returns, refunds or exchanges available)

The first is a young girl who just turned two (the terrible twos). She is a wonderful sleeper (with the exception of today where she woke up half way through her nap crying and refused to go back to sleep). Very opinionated (wants Elmo on TV all day long), vocal (screams when Elmo is refused), a great eater (if the item in question involves chocolate), comfortable with her appearance (refuses clothing at all cost), loves to explore (pull items off counter, shelves, etc and hide them around the house), loves to play (spread toys all over without hesitation), cuddly (wants to sit on the couch all day watching television or reading books cuddling without letting Mom up to get brother, or get anything done around the house), loves to cook (will not let you in the kitchen without being right there at all times "assisting") and sensitive (cries if your voice is raised in the slightest bit).

The second is a four month old bouncing baby boy! He is extremely active (does not sleep), ahead in his development (cutting teeth and refusing to eat), affectionate (will not be put down for more than 5 minutes), loves to change clothes (has several blow outs of poop a day), extremely vocal (screeches like an injured cat when he is unhappy), observant (refuses to be left alone in a room for a minute), loves water (produces enough saliva to drown an ant colony on a daily basis) and stunning blue eyes, a real attention grabber (has blocked tear ducts that require massaging and ointment several times a day along with producing a lovely snot like substance constantly).

You cannot pass up this opportunity! I am sure my happy children will return tomorrow!

Our little girl is 2!

I cannot believe it has been two years since Makaylee was born. On the other side of the fence, it seems like she has always been here. Her birthday party was yesterday, and it was a huge success. We had it at pump it up party http://www.pumpitupparty.com/ In case you want to check it out. When we first opened the door to the party room, Makaylee went running as fast as she could in the opposite direction screaming "NO!" But she warmed up real fast and had a blast! She did so great climbing on everything and going down the slides. The second bounce room she pretty much stayed in the bouncer that had basketball hoops and lots of balls to play with. Mike took Kaiden down a slide, though he was not to impressed. She even unwrapped some of her presents after Bailey showed her the ropes. Makaylee said "I excited!" when opening presents. She did try and blow out the candle, and did so with my help. We have been telling her for weeks that she was having an Abby Cadabby party with cupcakes, chocolate, and cake balls. So she was super excited when she got to have her cake ball and chocolate. After the party we went to Toys R Us to pick up the tricycle for her birthday. Mike tried to get it before the party, but the Toys R Us he went to didn't have it, so we stopped after the party. We got home and Mike opened the box and Makaylee was even more excited to see the bicycle than she was for anything all day. She kept climbing on it when Mike was putting it together, and tried to help him. We took her outside for her first ride on the trike and she LOVED it. Unfortunatly it started pouring, so we had to bring it in. She then spent the next half our or so sitting on the bike singing songs, and refusing to get off.

Mothers day and Makaylee's real birthday was today, and Mike let me sleep in. Although, sleeping in with Kaiden was only until 8:30 and Makaylee got up at 8, so it wasn't that great. Mike and Makaylee made me breakfast which was buckwheat pancakes and eggs. YUM. Makaylee is great at making pancakes. She even makes them in her play kitchen. Last night I was searching craigslist and found a swing set by little tikes that I have wanted to get Makaylee and have been watching craigslist for. They also had a playhouse. For $150 I got both and I am so excited. It needs to be cleaned, but the swing set is normally $450, and the house around $200. Mike is going to borrow a friends pressure washer and we are going to get it all cleaned up. For now both items will be set up on the deck out back because then Makaylee will be able to play with them even if it is raining. Once summer is here and the sunshine is more consistent then we will move it on to the grass. We also had to exchange Makaylee's trike. The front wheel (which came fully assembled) squeeked every time it turned, and Mike tried to fix it, but could not. So we took it back to Toys R Us. The bike we had was a pink princess Huffy trike with a parent push handle and canopy. We exchanged it for a primary color radio flyer trike with a similar push bar and canopy. We decided to go with the radio flyer instead of the Huffy because it just seemed like higher quality and we didn't want a repeat of the same problem.

Instead of posting all the pics on the blog, follow this link to see the pics:
http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y24/SSmiley908/Makaylee%20Ann/

My messy house

Anyone who has taken one step into my house knows that we have an overwhelming amount of toys. Toys that Makaylee has gotten, toys that Auntie Tabi has passed down from Bailey to Makaylee that are now hanging around for Kaiden to use, and the large baby toys, like swings, jumperoo's, etc.


Mike caught me taking pictures of the messy house. He cannot understand why I wanted to take pics of a messy house. I told him it was simple, some day it would not be messy. Someday I will walk in the door and I will not see a walker, because both my babies will be walking. There will be no play food spread from one end of the house to the other because the kids will be told to play pretend. One of these days elmo will not be everywhere you look in my house, and blocks will not over run the floor. Play doh will not be spread out on the table, jumperoo's won't be an eye soar in the living room, and an exercauser won't be in the middle of my kitchen. Some day my house will be neat and clean, boring and quiet. I love it now. I love turning on the radio and hearing the doodlebops or elmo singing at me. I love knowing every song that all the fisher price toys sing. I love making a fool out of myself trying to squeeze through toddler size tunnels, toddler size tents, dancing around to Elmo's world theme song, playing peek a boo in my walk in closet, or doing just about anything to see a smile or hear a laugh from my kids. It is a wonderful gift, and wonderful moments that I plan on enjoying.





My other problem is that Kaiden is not a very "self entertaining" baby. He likes to held, or have someone right in front of his face at all times when he is awake. Then, if he is sleeping, Makaylee wants her one on one time with Mama as well. She has been super cuddly lately. So her favorite thing to do is sit on the couch and read books or watch TV. She has not been very cuddly for the past couple of months, so Mike and I are eating up the cuddle time while she is offering it. Bailey also started coming over, and have an almost 3 year old and an almost 2 year old running around the house can destroy a clean room in 2.3 seconds flat!

So, are you ready for my house before we pick up when Bailey comes over? If you are a neat freak, do not read any further!

Makaylee's room:

Living room:


Basement:

He just cannot compare

That's right. My poor little Kaiden just cannot compare to his sisters head of hair. I mean, we all remember Makaylee's head of hair. This was her at 2 weeks:


Poor Kaiden had a head of hair. Nothing compared to Makaylee's, but enough none the less. Unfortunatley he has developed a pretty bad case of cradle cap. (Think baby dandruff for those not familiar). Anyway, I have been rubbing, scrubbing, and brushing often to rid him of this condition. Because of this, he is loosing the hair on the top of his head. He looks like a little old mans colmb over. He is also getting a nice bald spot on the back of his head from tossing and turning all night long.

Which brings me to the next thing that he does not compare well too. His sisters sleep habits. For the past week and a half or so Kaiden has not slept longer than a two hour stretch. Which also means that I have not slept longer than 2 hours. Can you say EXHAUSTED?? Though that is not a huge step backwards because before then he was only doing one 3 or 4 hour stretch, and then up every 1-2 hours after that. The night before last I finally gave in and let him sleep in the swing. He slept for 4.5 hours! Then restless after that, but I will take it! Of course last night I put him in the swing and the batteries died, so he only slept 3.5 hours, and restless after that. I have tried him sleeping on the wedge in the co-sleeper, flat on the co-sleeper, swaddled, un-swaddled, with me, in the bouncy seat on vibrate, and so far the swing is the only thing that has helped. He does copy Makaylee's 45 minute naps though. Unless he is breastfeeding while napping, that is the longest nap we usually get. Makaylee still takes her 1.5-2 hour nap every day, but most days they do not overlap. Tired Mom! My house is also a mess, but what else is new ;)

But, on the other side of the fence. He is so strong! He is always trying to sit up from any laying position. He has some serious abs. He wants to know what is going on at all times, and is not content just laying around. That can be a good thing or a bad thing sometimes. He wants to be sitting or standing at all times so I hope he is quick to learn how to sit up so he can! He can pull off camo print way better than Makaylee:

Looks super cute in a ton of necklaces (thanks to Makaylee):
This does happen to boys when they have a big sister :)

Also has some super cute blue eyes:

All in all, even with no sleep, I think we will keep him aroun ;) I mean, who can resist that smile??

Mother's Jod Description

POSITION:Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma, Mummy

JOB DESCRIPTION:Long term, team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers! Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassed the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.